...Before Pulling and Stabbing the Dagger: A Sad Reality of Our Time
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Earlier when she was arrested, it all went viral that the girl was forced to marry Lawal. A blatant lie even the Devil can't buy. We, her teachers, their parents and all the people in the mini market where she sells food and met her husband knew of their lovely relationship for long. So no one could even listen to such excuse back home. Maybe that was why, a month after "a body" intervened, took her with "them," she was captured in the media given another bizarre excuse for her act, that "she did what she did because of an excessive sexual demand from Lawal." A beautifully made allegation which one could hardly debunk. Today, Maryam is yet to be tried and she's with Lawal's two years old son. May he rest in peace.
Another similar story happened two years later, in Kano this time around. An 18-year-old Rahma was also reported to have allegedly stabbed her husband Basiru to death. The term "force marriage" was also used in this story.
You can't even doubt the fact that force marriages are happening in our societies. It's a disease that need to be cured. But force marriages or age differences hadn't been the only reason for this heinous act. And it is not restricted only to a particular community or states. A case of a wife killing her husband is happening everywhere on the glode. We've the famous record of one Sharon, 42, in the US who stabbed her husband to death in 2015. She was tried and jailed-for-life. In Bayelsa state, you can recall the killing of Barrister Gargariga by his wife Victoria, 28, after series of threat (she claimed from the husband), she finally decided to kill him. And she did.
So it happens almost everywhere, statistics are there. But my major concern is the Muslim population. My population. It is no longer news that moral decadence is rampant in our societies today. Very unfortunate to the Ummah of Muhammad Rasulullah (p).
Same reason why I can't take my fully matured daughter to the University, unmarried, after noticing my failure to give her (or she taking) the moral and ethical training a Muslimah deserved, is same why I can't marry her to a man she detest after carefully consulting her. Because I know, for every action, there is equal and sometimes opposite reactions. Hence, I can't risk someone else's happiness and of course my Jannah. Parents need be determine in choices they make.
Wrong choice mostly come from the girl child. In Islam, a father has ALL right to chose and marry his daughter to a man he believe to be able to cater for the family and of course, a practicing Muslim. A practicing Muslim is one who adhere and strive to live the guidelines of Islam to the best of his abilities. But with her consent [with emphasis]. They story however tends to be different most time. Many Muslim girls are today either not aware of this right (of her parents upon her and vice versa), or are simply induce to abuse it or totally jilted the course and embrace a brand new one. A man made of course. And such ladies should know, a marriage that's built on (unjustly) hurting someone, will have to be defending itself forever.
One can testify and be frazzle of the cruel and forebonding attitudes of our Muslim women today. Married and unmarried. Relate with the elders in the society, visit the courts or at least, read their posts on Facebook and you'll see the big image. It is just disturbing to any head capable of critical thinking the way and manner things are falling apart with some of themy (I keep saying some).
You need to understand that marriage, in Islam, is not just a culture or tradition but a form of worship in itself. You don't just do it for fun; gather people and have a party, snap pictures and show the world how beautiful your cleavage is by sewing that cloth of fashion. No, it is to prepare you to be a wife and mother - a nation builder, while you still remain a daughter and sister.
If you're that girl who think heeding to your parents and religious guide as old fashion, if you're that woman who pray for Allah's wrath and destruction against your husband or someone else's husband simply because he intend to marry another wife then, by Allah, you're sick and ill you need to cure yourself! If you chose not to involve your parents, your family or the religion in your choice of spouse, I think you also don't need them should anything go wrong in your marriage. If you don't want him (your husband) to go and marry again, hold him tight and never let go. If you're barren, wouldn't you be human enough to even advice him get you a house partner (another wife)? You equally have the right, if reverse been the case, to kindly seek for a divorce so you can go and yield your fruits somewhere. And if you choose to be patient, that's even more expected, contented and gracious of you.
Shun those movies (which are powerful tool in reshaping your thoughts) for good, those friends who never remind you of God or your grave, unfriend and block them so they don't block your way to meet with Allah, and always, remember that you're a Muslimah first before been a wife, and only then, you can't even think of pulling the dagger.
May God guide and bless our women, shower love and peace in their matrimonial homes, help them nurture their kids the Islamic way so we can have a better generation we can be proud of.
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